The reason for the season: Secular adventures in Christmas cheer. Pt1

[titaniumjunky]

My family is terrible at Christmas and I don’t think it’s just because most of them are Jewish. They put a lot of effort into the holiday. The tree goes up the weekend of Thanksgiving. The mantel is decked out to the nines. My dads love for frankincense and myrrh comes out in full force. We’ve been planning our Christmas eve dinner since June. I’ve been planning Christmas day brunch since before that. But something gets lost in the spirit.

But I don’t mean the “Christ our savior is born” spirit.  As my dad puts it “We’re Jews for Christ sake!” my step mom is a lapsed Catholic, and my sister and I are of the non-believing variety. Our spirit is purely secular. We’re all about the family, giving, and togetherness thing. Like a second Thanksgiving but with presents. And a tree. And A cranky Grandma who wants to know where she went wrong with her nice Jewish son.

Awesome.

The fail starts with gifts.

About this time of the year I get an e-mail or a phone call from my Dad or Step-mom. “You need to start working on your Christmas lists!” this is said in a usually exasperated and demanding voice.

“I thought we were keeping it low key this year, I don’t really need anything.” I know everyone’s financial situation, It’s never good.

“Well XX wants to get you something so get me a list by date! Bye!” *click*

Sigh. A deadline. For what is supposed to be voluntary reflections of love and good will.

Okay so I make a list.

I don’t need a lot of things, I have too much crap as it is. But I’ve learned how this works.

There are at least three drafts.

The first one does not have enough “personal” things on them for my families taste because I asked for something I need, like a gift card to ikea or target so I can buy a new dresser or bookcase. We can’t get gift cards apparently.

On to the second list.

This time I actually hunt down things that I want. Rare books, interesting DVD’s, cool shoes.

Rejected. No one knows where to get that stuff.

“The Internet?”

“We’re not shopping online this year.”

“Oh.”

Third list. I list several easy to find items, sweaters, scarves, mass market books, DVD’s music, small electronics. Nothing over $50 (unless it’s a box set)

“Thanks!”

Then Christmas comes and I get maybe 1 thing from my list. The rest you’d think that they were buying gifts for a stranger. 

I hate that I care. I didn’t want anything to begin with so I shouldn’t care. But after being harassed for a month abut creating a wish list, and being bugged about what I’m getting for who, you know what? I really begin to care. I’d really rather they just not ask me for a list and then shop the same way they do anyway- it would hurt less, especially when my parents complain about not getting what they wanted an hour later. 

This year I’m getting everyone Snuggies and a bottle of Wine.

Bundle up
Drink up
And Shut up
Merry Christmas.